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Five ways we’re preparing for having kids

Amber note: In case you missed the news, I just so happen to be pregnant again! I’m due in April, and we’ve already heard the heartbeat and made it to the second trimester, so we’re much more hopeful after what happened earlier this year. I started writing the post below before I knew I was pregnant again, so some things are a little “off” (like the intro below our announcement picture and #2), but I had to share this. Plus, I haven’t blogged in about 43 years, so it was time to post again…

Announcement pic
Picture by Stephanie Resch Photography

It seems that when you are in a certain age range and you have been married for more than two days, you begin to receive questions about when you are planning to add to the earth’s population. As someone who tends to over prepare and over analyze things, I decided that we needed to do a few things to prepare for our future child(ren), so here are five ways we’re preparing for having kids:

1. By having a dog: Everyone says that having a dog is practice for having children. My mother-in-law calls dogs “two year olds who never grow up.” After I spend any time around a two-year-old child, I totally agree. Sorry to anyone who happens to have a two-year-old child…

2. By gaining weight: I’m just getting my body used to being large and in charge.

3. By having a messy house: I’ve never been a neat freak, and my husband isn’t either, so our house is, shall we say, lived in. All we need to do is add a layer of kid’s toys and some smushed up baby snacks (that is, if the dogger doesn’t get to them as soon as they hit the floor), and our house will be completely child ready.

4. By not sleeping enough: My husband has to be at work between 4 AM and 5:30 AM, depending on their volume. Not has to get up at 4 AM but has to be in the door, clocked in, ready to work, etc by 4 AM. That means he gets up at 3 something. In order for him to be a functioning human being, he needs to go to bed no later than 8 o’clock. We do pretty good at getting to bed early sometimes, but most of the time we’re up too late. Also, once he’s up, there’s a 50% chance that I’ll get up too because I just can’t get back to sleep. We’re going to just start setting alarms to go off every two hours to really shake things up and get ourselves prepared for those middle of the night feedings, diaper changes, and all of the other fun things that babies decide to do instead of sleeping.

5. By constantly spilling things on myself: I want to see what it will be like to have mystery stains, like spit up, all over myself all day, so I’m spilling things on my shirt just to make sure I’m ready for the fun of having clothes that aren’t clean. I’ve also been spilling things in my hair (talent) just for good measure.

Any suggestions on how we can prepare ourselves?

Author:

I am Amber. Amber I am. I like to write things that sound like a Dr. Seuss book, evidently.

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