This is not what I had planned to publish today. I was going to post a book review, but I haven’t finished the book yet, plus I couldn’t muster up the energy and enthusiasm to give it the proper review it deserves.
The truth is, I just feel restless lately. I think it’s almost exclusively due to some issues at work that are just wearing me down. I feel like we are having to fight for some things that shouldn’t even be considered optional for an academic library, and it’s so discouraging to me personally and to my career.
Can I tell you guys a not-so-secret secret? I want to be a writer. It’s what I wake up thinking about, what I constantly want to work on, and what makes me happy. So why am I not doing it? Why am I not putting more work into this dream to make it a reality?
Because I’m scared. Scared I’ll fail. Scared I won’t be able to do it. Scared that once it’s more than a hobby, I won’t enjoy it anymore.
So I guess if you’re reading this and want to harass me to get to work on my writing, please do. If you want to send encouragement and good thoughts about the work situation my way, please do. We have a meeting with a lot of administrators and our university president on November 1 that will determine the direction that the library will move in. I’m nervous, but maybe it’ll be a push for me.
I should be back to my regularly scheduled programming tomorrow. Sometimes I just have to get off schedule and clear my head of things that have been weighing me down. If you’re still reading, thanks for sticking this one out with me.