in marriage

5 Tough Truths About Marriage

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Amber note: I originally published this post in March 2014, but since it’s #TBT, I wanted to share it again!

Lego Bride and Groom

A good friend of mine became engaged a few months ago. She and I happen to also work together, so one day before Christmas when it was really slow in the ‘brary, she asked me if there was anything about marriage that has turned out to be more difficult than I thought it would be. We’ve only been married for a year now (minus three days ha ha), so I don’t consider myself any type of expert, but here were some of the things I thought of:

1. It’s tough to live with a guy:

As some of you may know, I lived at home until marriage, so I technically lived with two guys. However, there’s a big difference between living with family and your husband! My husband is fantastic, but there are things that he doesn’t understand about me and that I don’t understand about him. Some guy behaviors are mystifying to me (how do you shower and get ready so quickly?!?). There are also times that I just need to blab on and on about something, and he responds differently than some of my female friends who will let me over-analyze everything. I could go on and on about the differences between men and women, but I think most of you know them by now and could chime in here also!

2. It’s tough to strike a balance between being comfortable and still trying to be attractive to your husband:

I own footie pajamas. I’m not proud of that fact, but they’re warm and comfortable, and sometimes a lady just likes to wear an adult onesie. However, they’re not the most flattering sleepwear that I own. I also like mismatched pajamas, raggedy sweats, and holiday themed socks. I’m lucky I’m cute and can get away with that kind of casual wardrobe. 😉 Although I know my husband loves me for who I am and not what I’m wearing, I do sometimes think that I need to have better “loungewear,” Then again, with what we keep the thermostat on in the winter, he’s lucky that my Snuggie has only made a handful of appearances over the last year!

3. It’s tough to think of things to cook for dinner:

This one may not seem like a big deal, but it’s really hit me lately, especially as I’ve been working on cleaning up my diet. I know there are thousands menu planning and recipe websites around, but I don’t always think about those when I’m standing in the kitchen at 5:30 trying to figure out what to start making. I’m happy with eating an assortment of whatever I can throw together, but some people like actual food for dinner. This may vary for others, but it’s been a real struggle for me!

4. It’s tough to adjust to each other’s routines, quirks, and habits:

Everyone has bad habits and quirks. For example, I like to just set my stuff down wherever there’s a little bit of room and worry about putting it away “later.” My husband is super easygoing and doesn’t let a lot of my habits bother him, but I’m sure it’s been difficult for him to adjust to some of the things I do, just like it’s been difficult for me to adjust to some of the things he does. A lot of people told me before I got married to “pick my battles.” That’s one piece of advice I’ll definitely pass on to anyone who’s planning to get married. Things can get frustrating, but it’s much better to let the small stuff slide.

5. It’s tough to share a bed:

I’m a sprawler, and I have a bad habit of being hot, then cold, then hot, and so on. Someone I share a bed with sometimes steals covers whenever I’ve kicked them off of me. Sometimes I think it would be easier to just have twin beds that we could push together or apart as the need arises!

Even with these “tough” challenges, I wouldn’t trade our marriage for anything in the world. It’s been a great experience so far, and even when there are difficult times, it’s nice to know that I have a partner who will love and support me no matter what. Also, I can always just make grilled cheese for his dinner, and he’s happy. You can’t buy that kind of love, ladies and gentlemen.

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    • We’re almost at 5 years, and sometimes we’ve got things figured out, but usually we don’t! Glad to talk to someone who relates! 🙂

  1. I love this! It really is so true! At some point in our marriage I have related to each of these points. After nearly 10 years of marriage, my husband and I have decided to sleep Rick and Lucy style because he is a restless sleeper and I would wake up with huge bruises on my legs due to his restless sleep. It works for us though. We do cuddle and spend time together at night but the actual sleep part is separate.

    • I love it! We just got a king-sized bed, and that helps some, but I would still be okay to sleep Rick and Lucy style (which made me laugh so hard!!).

  2. Oh, dont get me started on the dinner thing. I hate when I get the “whatever” from him & when I start cooking & he walks in & is like, “Oh, that?”… UGHHHHHH.

    • That is so annoying!!!!!! I also get super annoyed when I spend ages making something and my husband is like, “eh, it’s okay.”

  3. Thinking of something for dinner hit home with me, too. I wrote a post about how I grocery shop. My grocery shopping tricks help with the infernal question “what’s for dinner?” But even with all of the groceries and recipes and menus, there are just days I would rather be whooped than have to cook. Like tonight. Thank you, Dominoes.

    • Yes, some days the idea of putting any kind of meal together is too much for my brain to handle! I need to read your grocery shopping post! And I also want pizza now!! 😉

  4. Yes! I’ve been married for 9 years and I still find a lot of these to be true. I’m terrible at meal planning and often am just figuring it out after my husband is already home from work. We also ended up getting a bigger bed over the years because it is hard to sleep with someone else.

    • At one point we were in a queen-sized bed and had our toddler daughter and our 75ish pound dog in there. I can’t tell you how many times I woke up with my butt hanging off the edge of the bed! I have gotten better about writing a meal plan, but I’m still terrible at following it.

  5. We’ve been married 23 years. You learn to let go of the little things that irritate. Most of the time anyway. John cooks dinners most of the time and we sleep in separate beds. Did you know that over 40% of couples do?

    • I didn’t know that! It seems high but not terribly surprising. Congratulations on 23 years of marriage also. That’s quite an accomplishment!