Today’s prompt: Get real. Share something you’re struggling with right now
Each time we’ve had these “heavier” prompts like this, I’ve had to fight the urge to be really flippant and jokey and resist saying something like “I’m struggling with not scratching the mosquito bite on my foot.” I think it’s because I have a tendency to cover things up with jokes. I know I’m not alone in this, and it doesn’t make me a bad person. I try to be relatively private, so it’s hard for me to admit personal problems or things that are negative. So, this may be one of the more difficult posts that I’ve written.
I’m struggling with my brain.
My mind tells lies. It tells me that I’m not good enough, I should’ve done this, I should be at this point in my life, I need to be this way, and so on and on and on until I can’t take it anymore. My husband tries to help me get past these things, but he admits that it’s going to take time for me to reprogram my thinking. My pastor has given me a lot of great tools and verses to combat this (not just me personally but everyone who attends the church…wanted to clarify that), but I haven’t made use of them.
I want to change, but I guess I don’t want to enough to actually do it. I’m tired of feeling defeated. I’m tired of the negative self-talk. I know that I’m better than this.
Today’s prompt: Five of your favorite blogs and what you love about them
I almost forgot to do this today! I’ve been doing a lot of my entries in batches, and I thought I had done this one already. Oops!
1. Suri’s Burn Book: The description is “a study in Suri and the people who disappoint her.” Written by “Suri Cruise” (daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes), Suri’s Burn Book talks about the children of celebrities and Suri’s viewpoint on them. It can be pretty mean sometimes, and I feel a little guilty reading it, but I haven’t been able to break away from it yet!
2. Stuff Christians Like: I’ve done a guest posting for this one before, so I’m a little biased, but this is one of my favorite blogs! Its’ funny, serious, and is the origin of great terms like “Jesus Juke.” Plus, it doesn’t make me feel guilty. Bonus! 😉
3. Women Living Well: Recipes, marriage and family advice, and knowledge about Scripture, among many other things. Great resource!
4. Finding Joy In My Kitchen: Great, healthy recipes and meal plans. Since I’m still getting the hang of the whole cooking for two people every night (because if it was my choice, I’d have cereal or toast for dinner!), I need all of the help I can get!
Today’s prompt: Tell a story from your childhood. Dig deep and try to be descriptive about what you remember and how you felt.
I remember the first time I realized that the day I was living would be the only time that day ever happened. I can’t remember how old I was exactly; I was likely between 9 and 11 years old since I remember what house I lived in when this occurred. I was playing Barbies and listening to the radio, and something they said on the radio just triggered it. I stopped and realized that the particular day was going to be the only October 12, 1993…ever (not the specific date but used for the purpose of this entry). It was a little earth-shattering for me. For some reason, I had never really thought of life as being a finite thing and that days were not repeated or recycled. It also fascinated me. Those who were born after that date would never get to experience that date, just as I would never experience dates that happened before I was born.
I’d like to say that this gave me a profound revelation to live each day to the fullest or take charge of life, but it didn’t. I sat there for a few minutes, then happily went back to my Barbies. If there was only going to be one October 12, 1993, I was going to live it how I wanted to.
Today’s prompt: A favorite photo of yourself and why
This was right after the pastor (whose name I don’t even remember because I met him about five minutes before the wedding started) had pronounced us man and wife. I had giggled my way through the wedding, and it went really quickly, so I was just stunned and excited that we were actually married. I’m 29, so there were many, many, many times in my life that I was convinced that I was never going to meet someone and get married. Guess that was a good lesson in patience, huh? 😉