Lately I’ve talked to a few people about how you are turning two in April. It seems so hard to believe because it feels like this just happened yesterday :
But in reality, this is what just happened yesterday:
You’re growing up so fast. Some days it doesn’t feel like it. Some days I get frustrated, impatient, annoyed, and I just wish you could talk to me and tell me what was going on instead of pointing and crying and fussing. But then I’ll see a picture from a year or two ago and be reminded just how quickly time is going. I’ll realize that this is it. We’re not going to have any other children, so once these moments are gone with you, they are gone until we have grandchildren, if you choose to have children. Then, I just wish time would slow down for a few seconds, even when the seconds feel like hours.
Earlier tonight when we were in your rocking chair before bedtime, you reached out and put my arm around you. After that, you sighed, snuggled me, and fell asleep. That moment reminded me that there is going to be a day, probably sooner than I realize, when you don’t want my arm around you. You won’t want me near you. I’ll be embarrassing and terrible and won’t understand what it’s like to be your age (spoiler alert – you will realize, just as I did, that I do understand what it’s like). That looming future makes moments like tonight even more special.
I want you to know just how special you are to me. Motherhood hasn’t been easy for me so far. It has taught me things about myself that I wouldn’t have found out otherwise. I know that it will teach me a million more lessons like that, probably before you even turn three! However, for all of the tough moments we’ve had and will have, I wouldn’t change a thing. All of these experiences have shaped our lives together, and they will only continue to grow our relationship. I hope that you will read this one day and know how much I love you. Keep being my brave, strong, sweet, silly, sassy, smart, beautiful baby girl.