in mortality, sadness

Heavy thoughts, heavy heart

This isn’t what I planned on writing about at all today. My blogging schedule said that I was supposed to talk about the next book series that I was going to start today, but sometimes things happening in life necessitate that you change your plans a little bit.

When someone is dying, you’re torn. You have selfish thoughts of how you don’t want to lose him or her, but at the same time, you know that you lost that person a long time ago, when sickness started overtaking him or her. Some people go quickly, and some fight so hard that you can almost picture them getting over it and being restored to their whole, healthy self.

I think we take those who we know and love for granted and just assume that they will always be there. That we will always have time to visit them, see them again, laugh with them, when in reality that’s not the case. All of our days are numbered, and as soon as we’re born, we are moving towards our eternal destination. I’m just as guilty as anyone of taking my loved ones for granted. Will and I can sit in the same room on separate ends of the couch, each immersed in a different form of technology. Sometimes I even find it difficult to tear myself away from the technology when he wants to talk to me (okay, sometimes that’s because he’s speaking nerd to me ha ha). I don’t put my family and friends first. I make vague plans of “we need to get together” without following through. I tell myself that on the weekends I need to catch up on housework and laundry that I’ve abandoned through the week while I’ve played on my iPhone, iPad, and laptop, and that I don’t have the time or energy to go do anything with friends.

I’m not really sure how to end this post today. I could say that I’m going to make radical changes, but I think small changes are better. I’ve said before that I’m too dependent on things like Facebook, but it’s not the dependency on things like that which makes me have these struggles; it’s how I ignore everything else in the process. So, I guess I’ll just end this by saying that I’ll strive to get a little bit better each day. I’ll work on connecting more with friends and family and connecting less with…everything else. I love and cherish and appreciate all of you who are reading this, and I really do hope that we can get together sooner rather than later.

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