Share Your…Goals and Resolutions

I always enjoy finding new linkups, so I’m excited to join the “Share Your” linkup! This month’s theme is goals/resolutions/where you see yourself in 5 years.

Goals/Resolutions :

I try to stay away from making resolutions, so I’ll focus more on the goal side of things. I have a few goals for this year :

  • Take charge of my health and work on losing the weight I’ve gained in the last 3-4 years. I’ve got quite a bit to lose, and I know that it will take a while, but I at least want to make progress this year.
  • Work on our debt-free journey. We have a significant amount to pay off, so like the weight loss, I know it’ll take a while, but we want to make progress on this during 2019 also.
  • Start pursuing more writing opportunities. I have had a couple of writing jobs lately, and I really enjoyed the process and the finished product. It’s time to make this a priority!
  • Spend more non-screen time with my family. We’re all bad about spending too much time on devices, so we need to work on doing more fun things as a family that don’t involve screens!

Where I see myself in 5 years :

  • We’ll have a 7-year-old…that’s so hard to believe! We’ll also be getting ready to celebrate our 11th anniversary!
  • I want to be a full-time freelance writer. I enjoy the library world, but I’ve always wanted to be a writer, so I want this to be my job in 5 years.
  • I also see us being debt free since we are focusing on the process and finally paying attention to where our money is going.

I know these aren’t very many items for a 5 year plan. I haven’t thought about long-term goals for a while, so this linkup is a good opportunity for me to start working on those for myself and our family.

One Word for 2019 :

I haven’t chosen a word for a couple of years, but in the last few weeks, the word “complete” kept popping in my head. For me, complete has a double meaning. First, it means to complete my goals and to-do list items that I’ve been putting off. I’m a huge procrastinator, so I have to be conscious about prioritizing the right things and making sure I stay focused on what I’m supposed to be doing. The other meaning of complete is that I am complete. I struggle with not feeling like a good enough wife, mom, person, etc, so this is going to be my reminder that I am enough. I am the person I am, and I’m not supposed to constantly compare myself to others.

Do you have goals, resolutions, or one word for this year? How about a 5 year plan? Leave me a comment and share yours!

Linking up with Jen and Jenna!

Want to join in next month? Here are the prompts :

share your....

Six reasons I don’t make New Year’s resolutions

Today’s prompt on The Blended Blog asked about whether or not people make resolutions and what they are. I wrote about it very briefly during last week’s linkup, but I thought I would talk more about why resolutions don’t work for me.

Black and white clock face with black writing in foreground that says six reasons why I don't make New Year's Resolutions

Reason 1 – I have an all or nothing mentality

If I break a resolution, I don’t just brush myself off and carry on. I figure that everything is already shot and veer way, way into the other direction. For example, if I say I’m not going to eat dessert at night, and then somehow one night I find that I’ve had a little dessert, that will turn into me eating every single dessert type item that we have in our house. I’m working on having more balance and less all or nothingness, but this is the biggest reason I no longer make resolutions.

Reason 2 – If I say I’m going to deprive myself of something, then that’s all I want

I’m sure other people can relate, but let’s use the dessert example again for those who may not follow. If I say, “Amber, you can have dessert whenever you want to,” then I may eat it a few nights in a row, and then not eat anything sweet at night for a couple of weeks. However, If I say, “Amber, no more desserts for you,” then guess what dominates my thinking and is the only thing I can focus on? Hmm, I think I’m starting to figure out why I’ve been not-so-successful during my three Whole 30 attempts.

Reason 3 – I try to change too many things at once

Instead of making a couple of resolutions to change some sustainable things, my resolutions list usually looks like a lifetime wish list – lose x amount of weight, save ten million dollars, don’t eat any dessert, eat twelve servings of vegetables and drink seven gallons of water a day, walk six miles before breakfast, get up early and meditate, don’t lose my temper with my family, be on time to everything (uh, maybe that one isn’t so bad)…and the list goes on and on. I read an article that said there are people that do all of these things, but they had to work up to it. They had one habit in place before they worked on the next one. That seems so simple yet so obvious!

Reason 4 – I get upset if I don’t start everything exactly the right way on January 1

I’m very literal sometimes, so if I don’t start all of my resolutions on January 1 and have 100% success that day, then I feel like everything has been wasted (see the all or nothing mentality explanation above). The truth is, January 1 is still kind of the holiday season. Most of us are off work still, and if you went to a New Year’s Eve party like we did, then you’ll probably be dragging butt on the first. Not the best time to decide to get up at 5:30 AM for some meditation and six miles of walking! I’m a sucker for the concept of a fresh start at the beginning of a new year, but January 1 just doesn’t work out for me sometimes!

Reason 5 – I never give my resolutions any action plans

My resolutions are usually just a list of behaviors that I want to try to improve without any actions or goals attached to them. Sure, they look great on paper, but there is no way to accomplish them if I don’t have any kind of plan, especially for the days when I’m tired, things don’t start the way I want them to, I don’t feel well, or any of the other things interfere that cause me to get off track. Since I don’t set goals, I don’t have accountability to myself or my resolutions, so it’s easy to let them fade away sometimes around mid-January.

Reason 6 – I beat myself up when – not if – I fail

I’m going to fail. It’s inevitable. I don’t say that to be negative, but there are going to be setbacks and failures along the path of achieving success in any area. Instead of taking that into account, if I fail at a resolution, then I automatically think I’m a failure in many other areas (bet you didn’t know you were going to learn this much about me in this post…). If I make goals instead of grand, sweeping resolutions and declarations, then I can account for those times when things might not go my way. I can have a plan for when I get off track, and I can pick things up instead of jumping ship.

Do you make resolutions? If so, what has helped you to be successful in keeping them? Also, if you have any goal-setting tips or resources, I would love to hear them!

Linking up with The Blended Blog

TBB Asks : New Year, New You!

Time for a TBB (The Blended Blog) Asks post – all about January habits!

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  1. Resolutions or no resolutions? I usually have a huge list of resolutions, but this year I went no resolutions. I’m focusing on goals instead. Novel concept, right?
  2. Love snow or no snow? I love it if our kitchen is fully stocked, we have plenty of things to read and watch, and no one has to go to work, school, or anywhere else. Otherwise, since I live in the South where we usually get ice before snow, it’s a huge hassle!
  3. Name a new place you want to go this year. There are some places around Nashville that I want to visit. Our fifth anniversary is in March, and we’re taking a couple of days off to have a “staycation,” so I want to try a couple of those touristy restaurants that out-of-towners always visit!
  4. Would you rather have a new haircut or new hair color? Judging by the amount of grays that are rapidly multiplying on my head, I’m gonna go with hair color here.
  5. Name one special thing you want to do for yourself this year. I’m taking an Amber day once a month, and by day, I really just mean a few hours, but it’s a time where I will go do something that interests me or even just sit by myself at a coffee shop and read or write. This month’s Amber day is a planner girl meetup. I went to one last month, so I’m hoping that my new friends get to come to this one!
  6. Least favorite thing about January? Being sick. I feel like I always get sick at some point in January. I don’t know if it’s just being around more people after being off work or what but blah. (Amber sidenote – I’m updating the draft I had prescheduled to share that I am currently the proud owner of bronchitis, an upper respiratory infection, and a virus with “flulike symptoms”. Woot.)
  7. Most favorite thing about January? The opportunity to start a fresh year and make new goals! Also all of the jokes I get to make about being the first time this year that I’ve done x, y, or z.
  8. When do you take down your holiday decorations? Usually on December 26th, but this year, we’re going for a record I believe… #sicksnark
  9. Do you diet in January? Usually, but my new goal is to focus on eating more real food and stop over-complicating things for myself.
  10. What area of your home do you want to organize the most? Will built me a really nice closet organizer over Christmas break, but the downside to that was he had to take everything out of the closet to be able to work on it. I had grand plans of “purging my wardrobe” before hanging things in there. I think we all know how that went…

    (Sales pitch – I’m using the Full Year Wardrobe guide from the blog Now That I Can Do, Mama as my template for overhauling my wardrobe. She has some freebies that you can check out if you’re interested in learning more! I do get a small commission from anything you purchase. That commission will either go towards new clothes for me or diapers for Char. Whatever seems more important that day…)

  11. Favorite Winter comfort food? Soup! Will made a fantastic chicken soup last week that I think he’s going to need to make again after we grocery shop and buy the ingredients!
  12. Favorite guilty pleasure? Hot chocolate with add-ins. At Christmas, my mom made the hot chocolate – red wine combo, and it was so good! Last week, Will made salted caramel hot chocolate with salted caramel vodka in it, and it was also delicious! I, uh, also like just plain whipped cream in hot chocolate, lest you think all I like in my h.c. is adult beverages…

Linking up with The Blended Blog! These prompts are always fun!

Seven Sunday Sites

Oreo, I’m gonna need you to chill out on these alternative flavors. If it isn’t broken, why try to fix it?

My blogging friend Leslie has a really cute craft project on her blog – New Year’s Wish Bottles. It seems simple enough that even a non-crafter like myself could do it!

I consistently get a flu shot each year, but it turns out the latest shot could only be around 10% effective at preventing the flu. In other, related news, I have been sick since Thursday and am going to the doctor in the morning. Let’s hope my shot is part of the magic 10%!

Sarah wrote a great blog post about choosing goals we have no control over. It’s definitely worth a read, especially if you’re still trying to nail down your New Year’s Resolutions!

Speaking of resolutions, this article is a few years old, but it shows how quickly people abandon them. Hmm…good to know…

What were the 40 most popular songs of 2017? Hint, if you’re like me, then most of the titles will mean nothing to you…

Did you know that some Orthodox Christians celebrate Christmas today? Since we haven’t taken down our Christmas tree or put away everything from Christmas, this knowledge makes me feel a little less scatterbrained!

Side note – I have gotten a lot of great comments on here lately and hope to be able to respond to them once I’ve gotten medicated and can stand to look at a screen for more than the time it takes to type posts. Also, through the magic of the Internet, I’ve prescheduled some things so even being sickly, I’ll have fresh content for you all. Woo hoo! I’ll also make Will update my health status on my Facebook page because I know everyone won’t be able to rest until they know what’s wrong with me… 😉