in parody

‘Twas the night before finals…

‘Twas the night before finals, when in the library
Not a student was talking, and no one was merry.
The librarian sat at the front desk and waited,
In hopes that searches could be demonstrated.

The computers were full, and students were writing,
Checking due dates and page counts and citing
And in my office, I stared at the wall,
Wishing that I could see some snow fall.

When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
Away to my door, hurried and quick,
Ran out the front like a lunatic.

The shimmering green and well-maintained lawn,
Gave the look of a new morning, close to dawn
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a gigantic brain; I screamed in fear!

With two spindly legs and a tiny cap,
I heard students shouting “hey, what the crap??”
More wrinkled than raisins and bright as a flame,
Brain man whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

“Now John! now Susie, now Bob and Marie!
On, Larry! On, Sara! On Karen and Bri!
I have come here today to see you at college
Now pay attention as I hand out some knowledge!

As the fall wraps up and the tests begin,
Remember this wisdom that I hold within.
So if you want to succeed on all of your tests,
Listen to me, give your minds a rest.”

And then, in a twinkling, I heard a loud noise,
The bangs and crashes made me lose my poise.
As I drew in my breath and turned around,
Through the door Bookman came with a bound.

He was dressed all in tweed, from his head to his toes,
And his jacket had leather patches on the elbows.
A backpack of books he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes- how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
His long skinny face was as red as a beet,
When he walked, he tripped over his gigantic feet.

He was tall and thin, looked like a light pole,
And I laughed when I saw him; I lost self-control!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke few words, but his words were blessed,
“You all may be stressed,
“But don’t worry about grades,
For I can assure you, you’re all getting As!”

He ran out of sight as he waved to the crowd,
All of the students were cheering and loud.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
“Happy Finals to all, and to all a good-night!”

*Some of the lines in this are the exact lines from the “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas”. They were just too good not to use! =)

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